Half Term is finally here. Today is Saturday and currently it is 11:31. I have done nothing. I have been laying in bed, playing on my phone; but looking back I think to myself. How did it take that much up of my time. Anyway, I figured I need to sort my life out.
My initial intentions of what this blog was going to be like has now changed. I will still up load my day-to-day struggles but for now I want to work on being the best I can be. I want to be a good daughter, sister and student. I feel the only way for this to happen is for me to organise my life. It is going to be hard but I need to do this. I hate making my parents annoyed at me because of my constant bitchiness. (Sorry in advance for any curse words.)
So, this is where my journey begins. I am going to try to take baby steps at making my life better. Before I go any further I need to be honest. My Mum and I have always had rough patches but just as things began to get better. Guess what? They got bad again. On Thursday my Mum said two words to me. ‘Morning’ and ‘Night.’ Yesterday, before my exam she said ‘Bye’ and ‘Good Luck’ and in the evening before I went out to babysit my next door neighbours kids she said ‘Bye.’ Today she just ignored me. I walked into the kitchen and said ‘Good morning’ and the only one that replied was my Dad.
My Mum is currently taking AAT exams, so before she left I said ‘Bye’ and ‘Good Luck.’ AND GUESS WHAT? She ignored me. I guess it is my fault as I was the one that shouted at her. I said I was sorry but all I got back is ‘that’s what you always say.’
I don’t get it, I hate getting into arguments with my Mum and not talking to my sister for days, but I don’t understand why I continually act in this way. My sister will constantly do things to annoy me and for some reason I cannot just rise above it. I just get frustrated. Why do I behave in this way when I really hate it? Why do I do things and not even think about it first? Why? Why? Why?
I need someone to help me but I honestly have no-one. I decided to look online at the advice and this is something I found.
“Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
If your mom does something that makes you want to go bananas, step back, breathe, and take a mental quiz. Is my mom really bugging me? Or am I annoyed because a) someone said something rude at school, b) I have a stressful project coming up, c) I need a snack, or d) all of the above? We’re prone to take out our frustrations on the people who are closest to us instead of getting to the heart of the matter. And like, maybe you just need a snack.”
But how do I get to stop myself?
After that little rant (sorry about that, it is nice to just have somewhere to pour it all out as I have no one else to talk to) I am going to get on with the real reason for this post.
Here is todays plan:
Organise draws and cupboards (this on means today them up – the real business of cleaning them out will happen in the summer)
Do a little bit of revision
So my room is a bit of a mess and in order to get things done, get into the right mindset, be motivated and be happy. We need to tidy up – clean room, clean mind.
Once I have finished writing this, I am going to pull back my duvet and begin to tidy my desk.
I’ll come back in a bit to give you my tips and tricks for a tidy desk and the best ways to get motivated!