This is where the journey begins…

Half Term is finally here. Today is Saturday and currently it is 11:31. I have done nothing. I have been laying in bed, playing on my phone; but looking back I think to myself. How did it take that much up of my time. Anyway, I figured I need to sort my life out.

My initial intentions of what this blog was going to be like has now changed. I will still up load my day-to-day struggles but for now I want to work on being the best I can be. I want to be a good daughter, sister and student. I feel the only way for this to happen is for me to organise my life. It is going to be hard but I need to do this. I hate making my parents annoyed at me because of my constant bitchiness. (Sorry in advance for any curse words.)

So, this is where my journey begins. I am going to try to take baby steps at making my life better. Before I go any further I need to be honest. My Mum and I have always had rough patches but just as things began to get better. Guess what? They got bad again. On Thursday my Mum said two words to me. ‘Morning’ and ‘Night.’ Yesterday, before my  exam she said ‘Bye’ and ‘Good Luck’ and in the evening before I went out to babysit my next door neighbours kids she said ‘Bye.’ Today she just ignored me. I walked into the kitchen and said ‘Good morning’ and the only one that replied was my Dad.

My Mum is currently taking AAT exams, so before she left I said ‘Bye’ and ‘Good Luck.’ AND GUESS WHAT? She ignored me. I guess it is my fault as I was the one that shouted at her. I said I was sorry but all I got back is ‘that’s what you always say.’

I don’t get it, I hate getting into arguments with my Mum and not talking to my sister for days, but I don’t understand why I continually act in this way. My sister will constantly do things to annoy me and for some reason I cannot just rise above it. I just get frustrated. Why do I behave in this way when I really hate it? Why do I do things and not even think about it first? Why? Why? Why?

I need someone to help me but I honestly have no-one. I decided to look online at the advice and this is something I found.

“Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
If your mom does something that makes you want to go bananas, step back, breathe, and take a mental quiz. Is my mom really bugging me? Or am I annoyed because a) someone said something rude at school, b) I have a stressful project coming up, c) I need a snack, or d) all of the above? We’re prone to take out our frustrations on the people who are closest to us instead of getting to the heart of the matter. And like, maybe you just need a snack.”

But how do I get to stop myself?

After that little rant (sorry about that, it is nice to just have somewhere to pour it all out as I have no one else to talk to) I am going to get on with the real reason for this post.

Here is todays plan:

  1. Tidy room

  2. Organise draws and cupboards (this on means today them up – the real business of cleaning them out will happen in the summer)

  3. Do a little bit of revision

So my room is a bit of a mess and in order to get things done, get into the right mindset, be motivated and be happy. We need to tidy up – clean room, clean mind.


Once I have finished writing this, I am going to pull back my duvet and begin to tidy my desk.
I’ll come back in a bit to give you my tips and tricks for a tidy desk and the best ways to get motivated!

GCSE’s 😒

Here’s the thing. I go to a grammar school, one of the best. It is full of so many creative and intelligent people… but then there is me. I am no good at arts or music. I am just plain, old, boring me. I just need to get a few things off my chest. I HATE GCSE’s. I am finding them so hard compared to all of the other papers I have done. I am not having enough time to go back and check through my work. Why is it I feel like I am going to get such a low grade. GCSE’s are all about how you perform on the day, what type of questions come up and if you revised that specific topic in the right amount of detail. Firstly, I am not exactly stupid, in my mocks, for my 11 GCSE’s, I got 8 A*, 1 A, 1 B and 1 C. (The C was history- definitely not my strong point…) But why was it now that I had to do not as well in my exams. Why couldn’t I do badly in my mocks and amazingly in the real GCSE’s. All I have ever wanted to do I make my family proud of me. There is no pressure but I want to do well. I want to succeed.

There is a quote “Let your hard work propel you to a speed so fast that good luck has no choice but to ride with a winner like you.” Well where is my luck? Where is my success? Why am I struggling? All I have ever wanted was to be the best, to succeed. I have worked so hard my whole life so that I could succeed. I worked even harder these last 5 years all leading up to my GCSE’s. Don’t get me wrong I could have done so much more work and revision; but then again there is only so much you can do.
Well, there it is. Some of a rant that I have about GCSE’s.We should not be tested like this. Look back at my previous achievements and see that I am not all that test has shown. I am so much more.

Thank you for taking your time to read this, feel free to leave your comments about how GCSE’s or exams in general make you feel!


The Beginning

Hi. My name is Ella. You are probably wondering who I am. Currently, I am 16, doing my GCSE’s and I live with my parents and sister. I have created this blog without the intention of people reading it. I created this to tell you my ups and downs, my everyday struggles and to get my emotions out there. Its for when I have those bad days and I have no one to talk to. I can come here and express myself, talk and get everything off my chest. Apart from my Mum, I have no one to talk to about my issues and my thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Mum. But sometimes you just need somebody else to talk to. So feel free to comment below and share your pains, share your happiness or even ask for advice. I will try to post every other day as my life can get pretty boring.

If you’re struggling please know you’re not alone. Don’t give up!